


Gallows, Men

by Babygirl_Francesca



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst with a Happy Ending, Coming Out, Drama & Romance, F/F, F/M, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, Slow Burn, Underage Drinking, the epic highs and lows of highschool football
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2020-01-16
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:53:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21730108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Babygirl_Francesca/pseuds/Babygirl_Francesca
Summary: Rick's life is hanging on by a thread and his ego. He's trying to keep it together at school, but with his home life spiraling out of control, it's getting harder to pretend that everything's all right.
Relationships: Connie/Daryl Dixon, Daryl Dixon/Rick Grimes, Maggie Greene/Glenn Rhee, Rick Grimes/Negan
Comments: 11
Kudos: 34





	1. black dog

**Author's Note:**

> Hey folks, first off if you're subscribed to me as an author and you saw the notification that I am starting yet ANOTHER new fanfic while your fav has yet to be updated, I'm very sorry. Also, if you notice that your fav hasn't been updated in a while, please check my profile as I update whether stories are "on hiatus" or "low priority," and your work may have, unfortunately, become one of those! 
> 
> NOTES:  
> -while this is slow burn between the main pairing (rick/negan), Rick has a couple other relationships before theirs is realized, so there's no lack of smut.  
> -the Andrea in this fic is mostly based off of comic book Andrea. You don't need to know anything about the comics, just don't go into this fic with any pre-dispositions about what you think Andrea's gonna be like.  
> -the general trigger warnings for this fic are: drug use/references, underage drinking, and usage of slurs. If there is ever a big trigger in a chapter then I will make sure to mention it and try to update the tags as I go.  
> -many character last names are made up, as is Rick's mother's name.

_Sunday, August 25th. 11:25 pm.  
_ _McDonald's on 27th._

"Rick," a pair of fingers snapped in front of his eyes. "Yo, you with us?" Sasha asked, raising her eyebrows at him.

Rick stuffed another fry into his mouth and nodded. "Yeah, sorry, what?" He slowly came back from being zoned out.

"We were asking if you're taking AP Psych this year." Andrea reiterated the question.

"Oh, yeah of course. If only just to see if Mr. Porter lives up to the hype." Rick ate another fry.

"Don't you mean _Dr._ Porter." Tyreese called, giving jazz hands around the word doctor. Ah yes, the never ending pretentiousness of Dr. Porter was well known to the students at West Seattle High School.

"Okay, that's now 5-4 for people taking AP Psych, I think you're going to loose the bet Shane." Andrea quirked her lips at him and he smirked back at her. "Magna?"

Magna just rolled her eyes. "Don't patronize me." She said, stealing a chicken nugget from Yumiko's plate.

"This is getting pretty intense Shane, I think you're going to owe me five dollars and have to stop using the f slur, as per the rules of our bet."

"Someone ask Connie." Shane said, trying to act disinterested in the bet he had started.

Rick tapped on Connie's shoulder and slowly spelled out A-P P-S-Y-C-H. Most of their friend group knew the letters, but Connie was pretty good at reading lips as well.

 _No, sorry Andrea._ She signed back to them and Shane triumphantly held out his hand to receive five dollars from her.

"Pay up, fag."

"I _really_ wish you would stop saying that." She said miserably as she handed him five singles.

"What, who's gonna be offended here?" He retorted narrow-mindedly.

They ate in silence for a few more moments as McDonald's employees tried to mop the floors around them. They were the only ones left in the dining area as it was nearing midnight on a Sunday.

"Hey, could I get a ride home from somebody? School night a all." Glenn finally piped up and Rick let out a sigh of relief. He'd been waiting for someone else to go so he wouldn't be the first one bailing from their weekly Sunday night McDonald's tradition.

"I can." Rick offered and pulled his coat on to protect himself against the rain outside. Rick stacked Glenn's tray on top of his own.

"Would you mind giving me a ride as well Rick?" Aaron stood up, already anticipating Rick's nod.

"I will see you cowboys at 7:15 _sharp_ in Dr. Porter's classroom." Rick grinned at them and was met with a series of lack-luster good-byes. Andrea offered Rick a small, sweet smile before he ran out into the rain with Glenn and Aaron in tow.

Rick's beat up Honda was a welcome reprieve from the rain. Aaron had to push the passenger seat forward so that he could climb into the back, and when Rick got it started a Led Zeppelin CD picked up right where he left off and he had to quickly turn it down as they all jumped.

"Glenn you're up on the other side of the hill and Aaron you're on uh, fifth street?" Rick re-familiarized himself with where his friends lived. As some of the few members of the group with no car, Rick was often giving them rides home. Along with Connie and Sasha occasionally.

They both responded with some degree of yes. "Can you take me home first? Sorry Aaron but my parents will kill me if I'm out past midnight."

"Already on it." Rick agreed.

"You know, I really wish that Shane would stop saying that word." Aaron was staring out the window with a pinched lip expression on his face. Rick realized that he probably didn't need to go home, just wanted to be away from Shane. "I like everyone else in the group just fine, but why can't he just get the message?"

"It's probably better for you that he says it Aaron, it means he still doesn't suspect a thing." Glenn shrugged, always trying to find the bright side of a shitty situation. "Although on the other hand I'm sorry he makes you feel too uncomfortable to come out."

"Yeah, he'd probably be saying the N-word if Tyreese and Sasha weren't around." Aaron said spitefully.

"I know he had his problems, but deep down I think his heart is in the right place." Rick said, always coming to Shane's defense.

"You've been saying that for years man. When's it finally going to mean something?" Aaron asked, shifting to the middle of the back seat so he could talk to the two of them.

Rick sighed and rubbed at his face.

"You guys have no idea what it feels like to have to live like this. Sometimes I wonder how many of you guys would actually stand up for me if I came out."

"Hey, don't say that man. I'm sure that everyone would come around, even Shane eventually."

Rick tuned out of them talking for a moment and focused on the road. _You guys have no idea what it feels like..._ repeated in Rick's mind.

He did have an idea how it felt like. He knew exactly what it felt like. It was shit.

He always felt proud of the fact that Aaron had been comfortable enough to tell him and Glenn his sexuality. Rick conversely felt like a coward that he still wasn't able to tell his friends. He felt like a coward because he was still dating Lori Smith, still pretending that he could stand her.

He stopped his car in front of Glenn's suburban condo, perfectly matched with the rest of the houses on the street. It was a good neighborhood that he lived in. The same neighborhood his mom had always dreamed of moving in to.

"Thanks for the ride Rick! See you tomorrow at school, and at practice of course." Glenn said with a smile and bounced out of the car. Rick liked Glenn, he was always good for a smile.

"Yeah, see ya Glenn."

Aaron climbed over the center console and into the front seat, not bothering to buckle his seat belt.

They were silent for a moment as Rick turned the car around and drove down towards the bay. Aaron's family was very well off and he lived in a condo on 5th street, the downside was that his parents were gone often and Rick could tell that Aaron was lonely.

"Hey Aaron, I'll try to talk to Shane soon." Rick promised and Aaron nodded, but Rick could tell it wasn't enough. He'd been making too many empty promises for too long at this point.

"Thanks Rick. I know I can get heated and whiny sometimes, but it means a lot to me how much you guys care." But just like Rick's line of ' _his heart is in the right place_ ,' the platitude was rehearsed.

"I'll see you tomorrow man," Rick said as he got out of the car. Aaron just offered him a half smile in return.

* * *

_Monday, August 26th. 12:15 am.  
_ _Rick Grimes' house._

He parked his car on the street and triple-checked that all the doors were locked, window's rolled all the way up before walking up to his door.

It was late, but his mom wouldn't care, she never really cared how late he was out. Her car was parked on the street as well, so Rick knew that she was home.

He glanced lacklusterly at their broken window (repaired with cardboard and duct tape) as he unlocked the front door. He key slid in and clicked no locks, it had already been unlocked.

"Mom?" Rick called out as he let himself in, closing the door behind him and making sure to lock it.

"In the kitchen!" She returned and Rick found her leaned against a counter, eating some microwaved broccoli doused in sriracha sauce, wearing her pajamas.

"You have to remember to keep the front door locked." He told her, feeling very much like he was scolding a child. She simply shrugged.

"I was waiting for David to get here. Didn't want to have to get up." She explained and Rick wanted to roll his eyes, but held back. David was her on again/off again boyfriend/drug dealer. Rick really didn't like him.

"Do you need something to eat?" She asked, already going towards the fridge.

"No, no I already ate with my friends." He explained and she frowned but went back to eating her food. "I'm gonna go to bed. Can you try to keep it down out here?" He asked and she nodded around her fork.

"Yeah of course. It's still early though, why bed now?"

"Mom, school starts tomorrow." He reminded her, and she looked embarrassed to have forgotten.

"Of course. Get a good nights sleep sweet heart. I'll wake you up at six, alright?"

"Yeah, thanks mom."

* * *

_Monday, August 26th. 6:05 am.  
Rick Grimes' house._

Wanting to give his mom the benefit of the doubt, Rick had laid in bed for an extra five minutes, waiting to see if she would actually come wake him up. Finally though, he had to get up.

He turned the shower all the way up, but when he got in he realized it was still cold. He pitifully wondered what the chances were that his mom had paid the rent this month if she hadn't even paid the water bill as he took the worlds quickest shower. He was shivering by the time he stepped out.

In the kitchen he found some off-brand cereal that filled him up, and he gathered his backpack and soccer duffel, making his way out to his car. His mom was asleep on the couch, three or four other people were also asleep through out the living room. He was glad they at least hadn't woken him up.

Rick threw his bags into the back of the car and slid in, mentally going over his schedule one more time in his head. Hopefully the year wouldn't be too tough, he wasn't sure if he could deal with that.

Andrea texted him while he was stopped at a red light, asking what he wanted from Starbucks. He texted her back quickly, and that brought a smile to his face that she was thinking about him.

He pulled into his usual parking spot, having the pick of the litter for 0 period. He spotted Yumiko's green bug in the spot next to him. When he walked by the car he saw that Magna was asleep in the back seat, a common occurrence. Magna didn't have a car, she also didn't have a 0 period. Yumiko would give her a ride to school and then Magna would nap or read for the hour before school started for her. Lori had offered to give her rides to school, but Magna and Yumiko had always been best friends, and she preferred it this way.

It was still about ten minutes before class started so Rick found a seat in the classroom. The desks were set up in a circle, with a spot for Dr. Porter to teach by the white board. He picked a random seat.

Across the room from him was a girl that he remembered from tennis last year, _Tara_ he was pretty sure her name was. She didn't look at him, focused on her phone.

The next person to enter was Andrea, looking very peppy for 7:10 in the morning. She had a Starbucks drinks carrier with four drinks in it. Yumiko's usual black cold brew, Aaron's hot caramel macchiato, her own iced white mocha with extra whip in a reusable cup with a reusable straw, and his cold brew with cream.

"Jesus, did you take out a loan for this?" Rick joked as he grabbed his drink. Tara glanced up at them from her phone for a moment, then looked back down.

"I'll have you know I made some fat stacks this summer." She took her drink out of the holder and took a long sip of it.

Other students started coming in eventually, taking random seats. Aaron sat next to Andrea and very excitedly grabbed his drink.

"I gotta say Andrea, your shirt and these drinks don't really match." He commented and Andrea looked down at her shirt that said, very poignantly: ' _stop the use of single-use plastics_ ' with the link to some gofundme or other on the back. Rick rattled his iced coffee to drive the point home.

"Oh _shut up._ I wasn't also going to buy you all reusable cups. And like you can say anything mister k-cup." She accused Aaron and he put his hands up in surrender.

"I admit it, I'm trash."

Andrea was intimately familiar with the recycling habits of all the members of their friend group, and made sure to be very 'in-your-business' about it. She's always been that way though. He fondly remembered the 'save the whales' song she used to sing back in elementary school, complete with a choreographed dance.

Yumiko sat next to Aaron looking incredibly tired.

"Hey, where've you been? I saw your car like twenty minutes ago." Rick questioned and Yumiko just gave an over-dramatic sigh.

"I was printing off a stupid report for AP Chem. Oh, _and then_ Mr. Ford found me and told me that for Symphony this year we're doing the school musical, _Fiddler on the Roof._ With the _chamber orchestra._ "

"Yikes! Imagine being a band nerd who's obsessed with petty inter-department squabbles? Couldn't be me." Andrea said, scrunching her nose up.

"Seriously?" Rick said, pursing his lips. "I hate playing in the pit." He complained and Aaron nodded wisely.

The last students in the room was Michonne Davis, who took the last remaining seat next to Rick. Yumiko looked pissed off that Michonne was here. Probably the stupidest rivalry at the school was the one between Yumiko and Michonne, who had each other academically matched in every way. They took all the same AP classes. Michonne was first cellist in the chamber orchestra. Yumiko was first flutist in band. Michonne was captain of doubles tennis. Yumiko was captain of the girls soccer team. Real stupid stuff to get worked up over.

Dr. Porter was a few seconds late and carrying a hand-full of freshly printed papers. He stared at the class silently for a second before actually speaking. "I will be passing index cards around. Please write your preferred name at the top and given name at the bottom, for attendance taking purposes of course. And your preferred pronouns." Rick raised his eyebrow at the system, but was also kind of impressed. It prevented Porter from potentially dead naming a student. Rick briefly thought about what Shane's reaction would be if he was here right now, probably not very kind.

He wondered to himself why he was even friends with Shane.

* * *

_8:15 am.  
AP Literature classroom._

Mrs. Peletier's classroom was very inviting. The chairs were also in a circle, but completing the circle was a well-worn looking couch that Rick found Shane laying completely horizontal on, stopping anyone else from being able to sit on it. He moved when Rick entered and Rick sat against the other end of the couch. Shane then put his feet on the cushion in the middle, keeping anyone else from sitting with them.

Andrea scowled at Shane when she entered and proceeded to sit directly on top of his knees. "There's three cushions, that's three seats." Andrea complained to him.

"Oh my God you're breaking my legs. What do you eat? Bricks? Mrs. Peletier, Andrea's assaulting me." Shane complained.

Mrs. Peletier peaked out from behind her computer screen and stared at them incredulously. "Let her sit down."

Shane begrudgingly moved his legs and Andrea took a dignified seat in between them.

"Hey, what are single-use plastics?" Shane asked her, pulling a notebook out of his backpack.

"Hmm, like those Juul pods you waste your money on."

"You just have a stick up your ass."

"RIP to people who are addicted to nicotine, but I simply _wouldn't_ Juul." She retorted and Shane shoved at her, she shoved back. It was a typical back and forth for the two.

Lori took a seat in the desk closest to Rick and gave him a soft smile. He grinned back up at her. Then he felt Shane poking his shoulder.

"What?" He asked and Shane beckoned him closer. So he and Shane awkwardly leaned over Andrea so Shane could whisper in his ear.

"What the fuck is Dixon doing in this class?" Shane asked and Rick shrugged, he hadn't even noticed.

When he looked up though, he saw that Michonne and Daryl Dixon were sitting with their desks very close, almost protectively together.

Mrs. Peletier introduced herself and they had a brief introductory discussions about the books they'd read over the summer: _1984_ and _The Road._ It was very laid back and Rick appreciated that.

The rest of the day was fairly uneventful. Most of his classes were acceptable and didn't seem like they were going to be incredibly draining or anything. He had Andrea in most of them which was nice. He, Shane, and Andrea had been friends since 1st grade. Andrea was a year/grade younger than them but she'd always talked big had become fast friends. She and Shane had many, many ideological differences, and Rick had often felt caught in between them while growing up, but he still loved both of them.

* * *

_Saturday, August 31st. Noon.  
_ _The ocean._

"Rick! Check the left rod." Dale instructed from across the beach.

It was hot outside, they had four rods set up on the stretch of white sand beach that they'd found, sequestered between two thick scatters of pine trees. It was the only beach they'd been able to find that wasn't all rock.

By the time Rick got to the rod, there wasn't anything on it, and it pulled out of the water with ease.

"Figures that the one day I can go fishing, nothing is biting." Dale complained and grabbed a beer out of the cooler, sprawling out gracelessly on a towel they'd set. All they had to provide shade was a rain umbrella that they'd shoved into the sand and could really only cover your head if you were laying down.

They made do though and Rick lay down on the towel next to him, most of his body still being hit with the sun.

Dale fumbled with the cooler and then held out an ice cold Corona to Rick, also passing over a bottle opener.

The bottle was cool and slipped in Rick's sweaty hands as he gripped at it. He fumbled with the opener twice before finally getting the top off, letting it land somewhere far off on the beach.

"What is it? One month? Two?" Dale asked offhandedly as they lay and drank, neither one of them really had their eyes on the rods at this point.

"One and a half, to be precise." Rick corrected and tipped the Corona back at his lips. Rick thought that it was akin to being waterboarded, drinking while laying down. It was uncomfortable, most of the liquid just pooled in your mouth, and more often than not it caused a coughing fit.

"You staying with your mom?"

"Would you have?"

"You know I didn't."

Rick drank faster after that. Dale did too.

"Just let me know what you do, alright son? I don't care where you move, just tell me where it is and I'll be fine with it. And don't worry about your mom, she'll tell you not to move out, but do whatever you think is best."

There was another long pause where neither of them really knew what to say. They weren't like this very often: open with their feelings. More often than not they would keep things bottled up for years on end.

"Yeah, will do. Sucks that you have to go home soon." Rick said and dug the empty bottle of Corona into the sand next to his torso. He stretched his arms above his head and heard the crackle rippling through each of his joints, then he caught a whiff of himself when his arms were up and wrinkled his nose.

"It does suck. The offer is still open though if you want to join me. Come your birthday, Aurora and I would be happy to clean up the guest bedroom."

Rick didn't respond directly to that. Dale had brought it up time and time again. _Move in with me_. It sounded like the perfect solution to all of his problems, but often times in life, things were too complicated to be solved by a 'perfect' solution.

Dale was his uncle, his dad's brother. After his dad had died Dale had stepped up and been there for him, but Dale lived in Missoula, Montana. About a twelve hour drive away. Dale always tried to come visit on long weekends and school breaks. There had always been a standing invitation that Rick could go and live with Dale, but he'd never wanted to leave his mom alone. Rick had been seriously considering going to the University of Montana for school, so he could live with Dale.

"How are classes going?"

"Eh, fine. Still too early in the semester to really tell. I've only been in classes for a week." He pointed out and Dale nodded.

"And your girlfriend? Andrea, right? How's she."

"No, Andrea's my friend. Lori's my girlfriend. Lori's okay, she's just kinda... I don't, like a _girl._ " Rick emphasized the word.

"So, bitchy?" Dale supplied and Rick snorted. "Now son, I can promise you that not all women are like that. You just have to find the right one."

"Thank you for the sage advice."

Rick heard a rustling behind them, coming from the direction of the parking lot. He glanced back and made eye-contact with Daryl Dixon for a fleeting moment before Daryl made to turn around.

"Hey Daryl!" Rick called. "Come have a beer!" He offered.

He never really understood what Shane had against Daryl. Sure the kid obviously wasn't financially well-off, but Shane knew that Rick wasn't exactly rich either, so it kind of bothered him that he would make fun of Daryl.

Daryl faltered in his foot steps and eventually turned around. "I don't want to impose." He said, his words more polite than Rick would have thought he could be.

"Not at all! This fish aren't biting, so there's nothing better to do." Finally Daryl came over and Rick and Dale sat up.

"Uh, thanks Rick. I'm Daryl, sir." He said timidly, shaking Dale's hand as Rick handed him a beer.

"I'm Dale, nice to meet you son." Dale reached over and shook his hand as Daryl fiddled with the top of the Corona, finally pulling a lighter out of his pocket and popping the top off with ease.

"Daryl goes to my high school Dale, he's in my English class. Do you live out here Daryl?" Rick asked. He really didn't know anything about Daryl personally.

"No, I was scouting for hunting season." He explained and motioned to his large backpack, a pair of binoculars hanging off the side.

"Oh really? What do you hunt around here?" Dale asked, taking another sip of his beer.

"Mostly deer. Cheaper than buying meat at the store." Daryl's voice was barely more than a rumble. Each word slipping into the next one and making it hard to completely understand what he was saying.

"I used to hunt whitetail when I was younger. I had a moose tag once, but I never got it." Dale said.

"I don't even know what I'd do with an entire moose." Daryl responded easily and Dale chuckled.

"I suppose I don't know either. Just seemed like it would have been cool to get." He shrugged.

"I didn't know you used to hunt Dale. Seems like a better alternative than spending all that money on groceries." Rick's interest was piqued, maybe this was something to look into.

"Yeah, but you'd have to go to hunter's ed, and that course sucked." Daryl explained and just like that Rick's hopes were dashed. He supposed he'd also have to get a gun, learn to shoot... It probably would have been impossible.

"I forgot that you kids have to take that course." Dale said, as if reminiscing.

"You didn't have to?" Daryl asked, confused.

"Don't you know? People born before 1972 didn't have to take it. Grandfathered in."

"So they just let anyone hunt, with no training or anything?"

"Well, when you put it that way it probably was pretty bad." Dale laughed and Daryl even pressed his lips together into an amalgamation of a smile.

"Rick if you want meat you can have what's left from last year. We still have about thirty pounds left, and it's deep frozen." Daryl explain, Rick grinned at him.

"That would be great!"

Daryl looked sheepish at the praise.

"Rick, looks like your losing a line over there." Dale pointed towards one of the rods and Rick shot up off the ground, running to grab it before the fish yanked it into the ocean.

"I wish I knew how to fish." Rick heard Daryl say, staring at him as he reeled it in.

"I could show you how if you like, son." Dale offered and Daryl looked very embarrassed suddenly.

"No, I don't even have my license. I wouldn't want to impose." He rushed out.

"Nonsense. I don't see any parks rangers around here. If you don't tell, I won't tell." Dale said and Rick had never seen Daryl smile so much.

* * *

_Tuesday, September 3rd. 6:30 am.  
_ _Rick's car in a Walmart parking lot._

" _Mag-na, Mag-na, Mag-na._ " The group in the car was chanting while the girl continued to breath in an impossibly big hit off of her dab pen. When she finally pulled the pen away from her mouth she held it in for a moment before breathing it out and visibly deflating while it left her lungs.

"Rick, you again?" She offered, but he was already high enough for a school morning. Yumiko took another hit and vegged out nicely in the back seat. Magna put the pen back into her backpack while Aaron lay his head against the window.

"I'm gonna drive us back." Rick said, shifting the car into reverse.

"Take it slow cowboy."

"I'm pretty sure my brain in running in half-speed right now, so ten-four." He said and very cautiously backed his car out of the spot before getting on the interstate. Driving while high was, of course, never a good idea. But they weren't really sober enough to realize that at the moment.

"Hey guys. I think I'm in love." Aaron mumbled from his seat, sinking down further and further from a sitting position. Rick raised an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah buddy? You know where you are?" Rick said, trying to make sure that Aaron didn't out himself to Magna and Yumiko.

"Oh don't worry, they already know..." He trailed off, losing track of his thoughts. "His name is Paul." He finally found where he was going. "He plays first violin. He's so good... He's so hot." Aaron trailed off again.

"Is he that freshman prodigy?" Yumiko asked.

"No, that's Siddiq." Rick answered for her.

"Okay! So he's not a prodigy! He's still very good." Aaron said, very defensive for no reason. "And I'm going to marry him."

"Good for you man." Rick laughed, which make Aaron laugh too.

The drove in silence for another moment before Rick spotted someone walking, about three blocks away from the high school, with a heavy looking backpack. Rick recognized him from behind, it was Daryl.

Rick signaled that he was pulling over.

"Woah man, too high?" Magna asked disgruntled from the back.

"No, I'm gonna offer Daryl a ride." He explained. No one contested so Rick rolled down Aaron's window and yelled to Daryl, who froze up when he heard his voice being called. "Daryl! It's Rick! Get in the back." He called as Magna and Yumiko scooted up next to each other, leaving room for Daryl.

He stood for a moment and Rick wasn't sure if he was going to get in or not, but then finally he timidly walked towards the car and took a seat in the back. "Wow, I've heard of pregaming, but you guys are taking it to the next level." He said and the car erupted in laughter. Daryl suddenly looked embarrassed after having made the joke, but Magna offered him the dab pen and he took it with no complaints as Rick merged back onto the road.

By the time they got to school, the car had a great weed stench, and none of them were getting out smelling pretty.

Rick pulled into his usual spot. "I'm gonna take a nap in the backseat. I'll lock up when I leave." Magna announced and Rick just shrugged, not really caring.

The rest of them piled out of the car and Aaron stumbled for a moment before steadying himself and shaking his head to clear it of the pot-induced fog.

"You good man?" Daryl asked, steadying him.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm so good." Aaron said and Daryl chuckled.

"I'll see you in Lit Daryl!" Rick called as they went different directions.

Daryl offered him a small smile.

"Hey guys, we don't _seem_ high, right?" Yumiko whispered as they walked.

Rick shook his head quickly, which kind of made his head spin. "No of _course not_. We're totally normal." He said. They were not, in fact, totally normal.

They filed into Psych and all but collapsed into their chairs. Andrea eyes them suspiciously but the rain and wind outside and mostly gotten rid of the scent.

Dr. Porter stood up shortly after the bell rang and taking attendance. "Alright class, as I mentioned last week we have a guest speaker coming in. We're going to do a joint presentation where I talk about how drugs affect the brain and he'll talk about the more real-world consequences, so let me just get the power point up and ready." He said and then pulled the projector screen down.

A few moments later a man in full police uniform came in and the three of them tensed up all at once. Not one of them breathed, fearing the absolute worst. Finally though Dr. Porter looked at him and nodded. "Negan," he greeted the man. "This is Officer Morgan from the narcotics department at SPD." Dr. Porter introduced and Officer Morgan offered them a small wave.

They all let out a breath as they realized they weren't about to be arrested.

Rick watched the presentation with interest, though he already knew a lot of this information from first hand knowledge. He took pretty good notes aside from the fact that it felt like his hand was melting while doing so, and stared pretty intently at the incredibly handsome and confident Officer Morgan. If Rick wasn't taking notes, he was daydreaming.

The class wrapped up all too quick though.

"If you guys ever want to reach me personally for something, just call the non-emergency number and ask for officer Morgan." He made sure to tell everyone and Rick had a momentary lewd day dream wherein he called Officer Morgan and had phone sex with him, but Rick was forgetting all about the hot cop almost as soon as he left the room and headed to Lit.

"Hey Rick!" Andrea called after him as he left and then fixed him with her best mom-look. "Magna?" She questioned.

"That's me!" The girl heard from across the hallway and did a dramatic flourish with her hands before walking away.

"Okay, so definitely Magna." Andrea chuckled and rolled her eyes.

"What? I feel like you're accusing me of something." Rick said jokingly and theatrically collapsed onto the couch when he got to Lit class. Andrea shoved him over and took her own seat.

Before class started, Rick and Daryl shared a small, genuine smile.


	2. good times, bad times

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's pretty non-graphic heterosexual sex in this chapter. it is, unfortunately, unskippable. but it's rlly not that bad. also, just a reminder, the main pairing in this is: rick/negan so he and daryl are just a little beginning thing. :)

_Thursday, September 12th. 11:01 pm.  
Tyreese's minivan._

"I'm just saying that I'm not for it but I'm _also_ not against it." Shane shrugged his shoulders with a comically dramatic flourish.

"This is _not_ something you can be in the middle on! People's lives are on the line, oh my _God._ " Andrea breathed out, the whole thing coming as one rushed sentence.

The two of them were in the third row of Tyreese's minivan, leaning over poor Connie and arguing very animatedly with their hands. Connie kept looking between the two of them, but she obviously wasn't keeping pace. Sasha kept looking over the passenger seat at them and rolling her eyes. Rick was in the middle back seat, next to Lori and Glenn. He had his hand resting casually on Lori's thigh.

"I tend to agree with Andrea, Shane." Sasha interjected just as Connie turned around to offer them a look of confusion. Rick tried to crudely sign 'they're debating human rights' to Connie, but that was a little out of his wheelhouse.

"Jesus, you've been studying." Shane said, referring to Rick's poor attempt at sign language that Shane couldn't differentiate from actual good sign language.

Shane's comment shut up basically the whole car.

"Dude of course I have, It's _Connie._ " Rick emphasized and furrowed his brows at Shane who seemed to realize he was in the wrong and back off, his body getting a little bit defensive.

"Whatever." He said offhandedly as he turned away from Rick.

"No, no Shane. Did you really just say that? Do you not know _any_ sign language?" Rick wouldn't typically directly engage Shane like this, but he'd been mad at the man for a while and this didn't feel like the breaking point, but Rick felt like the dam around his emotions had just gotten a leak.

"I don't have the fucking time to learn a new language bro." Shane looked out the window and pointedly didn't make eye contact with anyone in the car. It had become awkwardly quiet.

"Oh, sorry. I forgot your brain is so full of slurs that you just don't have room for anything else." Rick knew that he'd crossed a line because even Andrea turned around to give him a warning glance.

Shane turned in his seat and reached back to grab at Rick, who ducked his arm.

"Guys! Stop it, I'm trying to drive." Tyreese shouted and the two of them stopped, but Shane gave Rick a withering glance.

"Just take me home." Rick said and Lori glanced over at him, confused.

Tyreese shared a nod with him through the rear-view window. Shane didn't look at him again.

Soon enough they were pulling up outside of Rick's house and he was climbing over all of them to get out of the car.

"Hey Rick, do you need a ride tomorrow morning?" Lori asked. He'd left his car in the Target parking lot where he'd met up with all of them, and his mom's car seemed to be gone.

"I'm going to take the bus, but thanks." He said and then gave the van one last wave before heading into his house. Tyreese waited till he opened the door before peeling out and Rick let out a long sigh.

It would be nice to have the house to himself for a little while. Maybe he could do some cleaning or just not have to deal with anyone's shit for a few precious moments.

There were dishes in the sink and he set to work doing them. He moved into the living room, trying to give it at least some semblance of organization. There were nefarious plastic baggies and bizarre looking pipes that he worked his way around, trying to fold blankets and clean ashes.

He felt his pocket buzzing and pulled his phone out. He swiped past his lock screen which was a picture of him, Shane, and Andrea at the nearby lake. They'd picked Andrea up and caught a photo of her being thrown into the lake by the two of them. The picture made him marginally less mad at Shane.

His phone opened to Instagram where he had a DM from an private account: ' dixn01'. He'd been sent a short message that said: 'thanks for the fish, and beer, and dab.'

Rick was about to respond when he heard a noise coming from his moms room. It sounded like groaning and Rick furrowed his brows a little bit. He supposed that someone else could have taken the car, it wouldn't have been the first time his moms car disappeared for a few days.

He made his way down the hall to her room and knocked lightly on it. He didn't get a response so he pushed the door open slightly. "Mom?" He called but didn't hear anything.

Light from the hall flooded into the disastrous room and Rick saw some guy that he didn't know sitting on the floor of her room with a needle in his arm.

"What the fuck?" He said and then the man turned to look at him. He looked like shit, his face was emaciated and dirt caked, and he was wearing just a yellow stained wife beater and a pair of boxer shorts.

The man looked at Rick in a daze and then his features seemed to sharpen and turn angry all at once. Rick's extremities felt icy as the junkie started towards him and he quickly slammed his moms door shut, dashing into his own room and locking the door behind him.

Their door knobs and locks were all flimsy though and he could already hear the man jiggling his door knob. Rick tried to get one of his windows open, but they were all painted shut and double paned, not something he could easily break through.

"Just get the fuck out of here!" He shouted at the man, but he seemed to be on a mission to get into Rick's room.

He rifled through his things once more, trying to find the knife that he usually kept under his pillow. It was gone. Of course it was gone. He had to keep all of his expensive things in his locked closet, and he seemed to remember putting the knife in there, but his keys were on the kitchen counter.

His room was sparsely furnished because so much shit was stolen from it, and he didn't really have any kind of weapon.

Rick's phone was burning a hole in his pocket--he could call the police. He realized that would probably end in more strife than a fist fight with a junkie as their house was full of paraphernalia and loose drugs.

Pushing his desk in front of the door Rick dialed the police non-emergency number. He took a seat on the desk to add just that much more weight to it as the line rung.

"Seattle Police Department." Came the curt voice of a woman, she sounded drowsy.

"Can I be connected with Officer Morgan?" He asked and without any more words from her he was being redirected.

The junkie seemed to have backed off a bit and was now just hitting his hands against the door every few seconds.

"Officer Morgan." Rick let out a soft sigh of relief at the sound of his smooth and reassuring voice.

"Hi, there's a junkie in my house and he's trying to get into my room." Rick rushed out, not really sure how to explain the situation fully. He was also surprised at how shaky his voice came out, obviously more freaked out than he'd thought he was.

"You should hang up and dial 9-1-1, that way the nearest officer can be notified and get to you quicker." His voice was sharp and obviously startled to be receiving this kind of call on the non-emergency line.

"No, please, you uh, you spoke to my psych class a couple of days ago and I just--cops are--you know." Rick didn't know where he was going with this. Officer Morgan had just seemed like a reasonable person who would hopefully not arrest his mom on possession charges, nonetheless _him._ He didn't trust most cops because of how they treated his mom, but he hoped that Officer Morgan would at least listen to him.

"What's your address?"

Rick rattled it off and then the junkie gave a hard shove against the door, causing Rick to jolt and let out a small shout.

"You okay kid?" Morgan asked, sounding genuinely concerned.

"Y--yeah, I just don't have the sturdiest doors and he seems really dedicated to get in."

"Why don't you stay on the line with me while I drive. It'll be just a few minutes." He promised.

"Uh, yeah, okay." Rick agreed and shook again as it felt like the man on the other side of the door threw his whole body weight against it.

"What's your name kid?" Morgan asked, trying to distract Rick from what was going on.

"It's Rick."

"Do you have a closet you could get in?"

"No."

"What grade are you in?"

"I'm a senior."

"Going to college next year?"

_Thud._

"I don't know yet."

"That's fair."

They talked about nothing for Officer Morgan's entire drive over. He just asked Rick meaningless questions as Rick's tensions grew and the man seemed to have a superhuman amount of stamina. The thuds were growing further and further apart though.

Finally he heard a car pulling up outside and then shutting off.

"I'm coming inside alright? So I'm going to hang up."

"Yeah, okay." Rick agreed and then set his phone down. He realized that he had stopped shaking at some point in their conversation, and that his body felt like it was a normal temperature again.

A few moments went by and then there was a gentle knock at his door. "Rick?" It was Officer Morgan's voice.

Rick unlocked the door and Officer Morgan opened it to Rick sitting on his desk and probably looking very disheveled.

"Hey." He said calmly with a lopsided grin and back up so that Rick could get down off of the desk and into the hallway. "He's gone, looks like he went out the backdoor."

"Oh." he paused for a moment, "sorry."

"Don't be sorry, that must have been freaky as hell."

They kind of awkwardly stared at each other for a moment, not really sure what to say.

"I guess you should get back to work." Rick said sheepishly, though he didn't really want Officer Morgan to leave, he felt jittery and uncomfortable in his house right now. While he had once been excited to be alone, he was now dreading it.

"I'm off duty now actually, you called just as I was about to head home."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to--"

"Hey, don't apologize, I'm glad I could be of service. Can I give you a ride somewhere? A hotel or something?" He offered and Rick thought pensively for a moment. He definitely didn't have money for a hotel room. He supposed that one of his friends could probably host him for the night.

"Let me text my friends real quick. I can't afford a hotel."

Officer Morgan nodded and Rick walked to the kitchen. He felt uncomfortable under the gaze of Officer Morgan as he opened his friends group chat.

It was aptly named the 'Rat Chat' and the last message had been hours ago. He quickly typed out: 'hey guys, could i crash at someone's house tonight?' He didn't want to have to explain himself, and hoped that none of them would ask. No one in the group really knew about his living situation.

Almost immediately Magna responded with just a 'yea, come on over pardner'.

He stashed his keys in his pocket and picked his back pack up off the floor.

"Okay, I have a friend who lives just a couple blocks away, I can walk, it's not far."

"Hell no, that guy could still be around here. Giving you a ride is the least I can do." Rick bit his lip anxiously and followed Officer Morgan out to his squad car.

When they passed through the living room Morgan gave a quick glance to the pipes adorning the coffee table. Rick froze up and glanced up at Morgan, who had a deep frown on his face.

"Who do you live here with Rick?"

He stuttered on his words for a while, not wanting to admit that it was his mom, he didn't want to get her in trouble.

Finally Officer Morgan set a gentle hand on Rick's shoulder. "Rick, it's okay." He said, his voice reassuring and soft.

"My mom." He finally forced out and Officer Morgan's hand squeezed on his shoulder.

"Get your phone out, I'm going to give you my cell phone number."

Rick fumbled with his phone for a moment and then handed it to Officer Morgan who created a new contact.

"I don't want you to be afraid to call for help, alright? I work seven to three most days, and if you call when I'm off then I don't have to file a report."

"Thank you," Rick fumbled and stuttered over the words, unsure why the man was showing him so much kindness. Rick wasn't used to it, and certainly not from police officers in the few interactions he'd had with them.

Officer Morgan opened the passenger door of his cruiser for him and Rick slid in, looking anxiously at the surrounding darkness. He rattled Magna's address off and Morgan nodded, shifting his car into gear.

When they were outside of the apartment building Magna worked in, Rick sat for a moment, wanting to say something but not really sure what he could say to express his gratitude.

"Hey Rick, I really mean it when I say to contact me. Even if you just want to text me, I grew up pretty similarly to you." Morgan rested his hand on Rick's shoulder once again and Rick sucked his lips into his mouth.

"I will." He finally said and looked up at Morgan briefly. He was dashingly handsome, and very young. Rick's knight in shining armor.

"My name's Negan by the way." His hand was still resting on Rick's shoulder and they continued to stare at each other for just a moment until Rick was finally the one to pull away from the gentle embrace, worried about what he would have done if he hadn't.

Negan gave him one last wave before peeling away.

Rick stared after him for just a moment, feeling the lingering touch of his warm hand.

Finally he turned to Magna's apartment complex and climbed the stairs, knowing from practice that the elevator was always out of service.

Her mom answered the door and waved him in, asking if he wanted and food or drinks, he just shook his head and look around the living room for Magna. One of her ten siblings sat on the couch smoking a joint, another one was sleeping on the same couch. Several little siblings were sitting at the one shared desk they had and doing homework.

"She's in her room." One of them pointed him and Rick nodded.

There wasn't really an extra bed in the the four bedroom apartment, so Rick would just sleep in Magna's room. As the oldest sibling she was given her own 'room,' which could just fit a single bed and a dresser. The other kids paired up three to a room, or slept on the couch, or wherever they wanted. Magna's mom was an 'anything goes' type of her person, and her dad wasn't in the picture.

He didn't bother knocking on her door, just walked in and found her laying on her bed. She had her dab pen dangerously in her fingers, about to roll out and onto the ground.

"Make yourself at home. You can put your things on top of the other things and there are pajamas somewhere among the things." She said unhelpfully.

Rick set his backpack on one of the few spots of floor and then looked curiously at a green hoodie on a pile of clothes. "Is this... Glenn's?" He asked, cocking a brow at her.

Magna snorted and rolled her eyes. "He left it in Yumi's car and I have yet to return it to him. Don't worry cowboy, I'm not corrupting the youth." She said wryly and then sat up on the bed, Rick noticed that she wasn't wearing anything under the over sized shirt that she was wearing. "Anyway," she reached over to a bagel he hadn't noticed on her bedside table and took a large bite, chewing quickly and then swallowing audibly. "Wanna screw?"

Rick toed his shoes off and pulled his shirt over his head while nodding. "That sounds lovely."

He laid back on the bed and pulling Magna on top of him.

They didn't sleep together often, but casual fucking had started around freshman year. Just once or twice a year really, and though he felt a twinge in his gut for his infidelity to Lori, he also just didn't really feel like their relationship was very real. This was his first time actually cheating on her though.

"What about Ms. Princess?" Magna asked, even as she unbuttoned his pants and offered him a good-natured wink.

"You know, at first I thought she actually wanted to date me." Rick said, resting his hand on her full hips, squeezing and feeling the give of her supple skin.

"Aw, baby got his feewings hurt?" She asked in a mocking tone as she grasped his cock firmly in her slender hand, giving it a few pumps and grabbing a condom off of her night stand. She rolled it over him lasciviously.

"Naw, I just don't want to have to go through the motions anymore. I mean, she's obviously in love with Shane, but he doesn't want to date anyone other than maybe Andrea, and she would never give in _to him-"_ He was cut off momentarily as Magna sunk down on him, to hell with foreplay. He chocked back a moan, as even if Magna's mom didn't care, he didn't want to do the walk of shame out of their apar-tment in the morning.

"Why do those guys have so much fucking drama? I only hang out with them because of Yumi and Connie honestly. Those two never have any drama." Magna set her own pace, moving her hips seductively and precisely as Rick offered only a gentle guidance with his hands.

"I wish I could get out of it. You guys, Aaron, and Glenn, I'd be fine if those were my only friends."

"What about Dixon? Aren't you sweet on him?" She asked, pulling her hair back into a ponytail.

" _Sweet_ on him?" Rick reiterated and she rolled her eyes.

"You know what I mean."

"Oh shit, that reminds me." Rick fumbled for him phone for a moment. "I forgot to text him back." He opened his lock screen to the still awaiting message.

"Okay Rick I know it's called a casual fuck, but _really_?" She asked, exasperated. When he looked up at her however, her face was easy and gentle and Rick rocked his hips up to meet her. Her eyes rolled back for just a moment and then he quickly typed out a response to Daryl.

'we should do it all again sometime' was all that Rick ended up saying, quick and to the point. He really meant it though, he liked the few interactions he had with Daryl. The man was more interesting than most of his friends he already had.

Setting his phone back on a pile of clothing Rick grabbed Magna's hips harshly and they settled into a rhythm.

* * *

_Friday, September 15th. 7:10 am.  
Yumiko's VW Bug._

"My do you look fucking ridiculous." Yumiko commented when she saw Rick. He looked down at himself and frowned. He was wearing Magna's clothes, a pair of loose black jeans that were a little wide on him, and some indie band tee shirt that had looked generally unisex.

"I styled him myself." Magna said with a giggle and a grin from the back seat.

Rick's phone was at fifteen percent, just hanging on by a thread as he hadn't charged it last night. They'd fallen asleep pretty quickly after both finishing, and he felt refreshed this morning. Much better than the ball of anxiety and frustration he'd been earlier that night.

When they pulled into Yumiko's usual parking spot, he saw Daryl rounding the corner to the school and so Rick quickly said his goodbyed and jogged to catch up to Daryl.

"Women's pants?" Daryl commented when Rick fell into step with him, an eyebrow raised.

"Is it really that obvious?"

"Well, they are hugging your ass pretty tight."

Rick immediately reached his hand back to pat his butt, as if expecting he would be able to tell how tight they were. Daryl just laughed at him.

"Hey I'm going up scouting tomorrow morning, do you want to come with?"

"Yeah, absolutely! When and where should I meet you?"

"I'll text you my address later, how about seven? And would you mind driving? I don't have a car."

Rick agreed cheerily and entered Dr. Porter's classroom with a smile.

* * *

_Saturday, September 16th. 6:45 am.  
A Forest Outside Seattle. _

"Tell me again why we're out here at six in the morning?" Rick asked, chattering his teeth together dramatically. 

They were sitting on the top of a fairly tall mountain, looking out on a small valley below. It was chilly outside but not unbearable, they were both dressed in orange vests and heavy jackets. Daryl just laughed at him.

Staring out at the scenery before them they both sat in silence. They'd chatted on the walk up, but they were now both out of breath and exhausted. Daryl had claimed that when snow falls elk travel down from this mountain into the valley below them to find food, so they were looking for sign. Daryl had a pair of binoculars up to his eyes and hadn't pulled them away for quite some time. 

Rick pulled his back pack off of his shoulders and riffled around in it for a moment before pulling out two granola bars, just now remembering that he had them. He nudged Daryl in the side and handed the man one. 

Daryl finally set down his binoculars and pulled his gloves off. Rick had learned that Daryl was a quiet, yet appreciative guy. He liked that. They didn't need to constantly be chatting, they could just enjoy each other's company. 

Rick shivered again and Daryl scooted closer to him on the uncomfortable ground. They're were pressed up against each other now, offering just a tiny bit of extra heat. Rick felt his face flush. He had no idea if Daryl was into him, and he could seriously ruin his life if he tried to make a move and was rejected. 

There was something in the air though, some impalpable awkwardness that only two high school students could feel when they didn't know what the other one was thinking. Rick heard Daryl gulp and then sniffle.

They both finished their granola bars and Rick tucked the wrapper in his pocket, making an overwhelmingly loud crinkling noise in the quiet air. 

They sat for another long while without saying anything, the sun was beginning to crest over the furthest hill and Rick focused his eyes on it. He could feel the movement of Daryl's chest as he breathed. 

Finally, Daryl looked over at Rick. Rick chanced a glance at him as well and their faces were closer their ever. Their mouths breathed the same breaths and Rick dropped his eyes down Daryl's face. They trailed over his slightly crooked nose, to the mole above the right side of his mouth, and finally his lips themselves. 

Daryl was the one who kissed him first, and it brought a wave of relief through Rick's shoulders like he'd never felt before. 

The kiss was chaste and unsure. When Daryl pulled away it seemed almost like he expected to be scolded.

Instead Rick cupped one of Daryl's cheeks in his hand and pulled him in for another kiss. 

Rick had never kissed anyone besides Lori, and even then he only did so because he felt like he had to.

Kissing Daryl was like Rick's realization that something so innocent could be so overwhelmingly blissful. With Magna he was always too focused on the sex to even give a thought to kissing her, but with Daryl he was completely content. 

When they pulled away a second time Daryl rested his head on Rick's shoulder and they watched the sun come up.


End file.
